I was wrong
Friends,
Here is a simple yet insightful article from Justin Bariso. These three words are so powerful. It reminds me of what Dave Cooper, one of the most successful Navy SEAL Team leaders, would say a lot: “Well, I screwed that one up” and “poke some holes in my idea.” The most confident leaders are actually the ones most willing to admit mistakes. It’s the insecure ones who have a harder time. Food for thought.
Enjoy.
I was wrong
By Justin Bariso
Yesterday, my wife and I got into a disagreement.
It wasn't about anything important. I'd rather not share the details here…Let's just say I assumed I knew something...but she knew better. (Pretty common occurrence in our household.)
But despite it being about a trivial matter...
I suddenly got silent.
"Are you ok?" my wife kindly asked. "Did I say something wrong?"
Of course, she hadn't. My ego had just taken a hit.
A few minutes of online research brought me to a sudden and painful realization: I didn't really know what I was talking about. I made assumptions that simply weren't true.
But here's the interesting thing: Although it only took a few minutes to realize my wife was right intellectually, it took much longer for me to accept it emotionally.
And that was with a very small thing. Typically, the bigger the matter we're wrong about, the much longer it takes to accept we're wrong.
And for some of us...at least sometimes...
We just can't do it.
But why is that? Why is it that, even if everything points to us being wrong, we still tend to hold on to our belief for dear life?
There's tons of scientific literature that attempts to explain…But I'd like to zoom in on two reasons:
1. We get emotionally attached to our beliefs.
2. We all hate to be wrong.
It’s important to acknowledge both of these things because, well, we’re all wrong sometimes. The better we get at being able to acknowledge that, the better off we'll be. Holding on to irrational beliefs only hurts us in the end.
So, how do we get better at accepting when we're wrong?
How do we improve at being open to learn from others, or even to change our opinions?
The key: You must learn to detach yourself emotionally from your ideas...which, as you can imagine, is easier said than done.
Here's how to do it:
The next time you encounter an idea or opinion that is vastly different from your own, resist the urge to immediately dismiss it. Instead, force yourself to listen carefully.
Then, ask yourself:
Why do I feel so strongly about what I believe?
Do I know all the facts?
How might my emotions be influencing what I believe?
Might I be remembering something wrong?
Do I believe something because I want it to be true?
Putting my personal feelings aside, what can I learn from this alternate perspective?
Taking the time to think through questions like these can help you see things more rationally. It'll make you a better listener...and in some cases, it may even help you change your mind.
And even if you don't change your mind completely, you'll earn the respect of the person you're dealing with—because they see you're truly listening to them, and not dismissing what they have to say.
Which brings us to the second point: How can we change the fact that we hate to be wrong?
That one’s not so easy. But you can start by practicing a single sentence. Come on, say it with me. Three times for emphasis....
All together now:
Sometimes, I'm wrong.
Sometimes, I'm wrong.
Sometimes, I'm wrong.
I'd like to say the more you say it, the easier it gets. I'm not really sure if that's true.
I guess I'll go ask my wife.
Talk soon,
Justin
https://eqapplied.com/