Leadership Self-Reflection: "Checking In, Not Checking Out"
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/leadership-self-reflection-checking-out-tony-adams/
By Tony Adams
Introspective self-reflection.
Taking time to step away from the sound and fury of our regular lives and reflect on ourselves. Looking inwards to find a sense of calm and self-awareness.
We know that these practices are really important for our emotional well-being, but they are also critical tools in a modern leader's arsenal.
Taking the Time to Check In
Every leader should take regular time to check in on themselves through self-reflection and focus on how they are performing, how others see them, how they see themselves, how true they are to their authentic selves. Whilst this may seem challenging amidst the 24/7 cacophony of noise and distractions, it is often when the noise is at its loudest that introspection has the greatest role to play in helping one remain calm and grounded.
Taking time to know oneself through self-reflection opens a fresh perspective, enhancing one’s clarity and focus. With these gifts one can continuously look for ways to enhance effectiveness and pave pathways to achievement - Rachel Borsch
During our own leadership journeys, we always find times where we struggle to step away and catch our breath. By not taking the time to really look at our performance and the way we make decisions, our leadership can become self-absorbed and lack authenticity.
This can be a dreadful distraction that affects our decision making and as a result, the way that our teams and stakeholders respond to us.
Here's the thing. Looking inwards and then thinking about how we project outwards go hand-in-hand.
Checking in on oneself does not mean checking out on the team - a well-balanced leader who chooses to step back and self-reflect is following the path to developing a deeper, more emotionally grounded connection to the team.
However, with conscious, sustained effort (and the occasional bump and bruise!), we can build self-reflection into our daily routine. We can use a bunch of techniques - simple meditations, exercise regimes or quiet mantras to help us quickly recognize when the crazy clouds are circling and then step away, check in on ourselves and regain our focus.
Anthony Tjan's ideas about the trinity of self really hit home - know yourself, improve yourself and complement yourself.
I love these. Take the time to know yourself and the way you make decisions, understand what does and doesn't work and then build support by surrounding yourself with the right people and environment - whether that be at home, work, church, family, socially or anywhere else that we connect with people around us.
What a terrific mantra to repeat each morning or evening..."I will know myself, I will improve myself and I will support myself". So simple - and really, the essence of introspective self-reflection.
So, as leaders caught in that ever-present, inexorable maelstrom, how do we find time for introspective reflection? When should we reflect? How can we ensure that we do not become so wrapped up, so self-absorbed that we cut ourselves off from the team? How do we make sure that checking in does not result in us checking out?
The answers will be different for everyone but there are some simple principles that we can call out.
Make quiet time a daily habit. Reflection works best where it is a regular habit. Set aside a few daily minutes to gather your thoughts and focus on the day ahead.
I enjoy walking to the office each morning and think things through - I make sure to leave my train 1-2 stops earlier than the crowd and enjoy a peaceful half hour in the early dawn light, with the clear air, dappled sun peeking through the trees and soft bird song helping me arrive rejuvenated and energized.
Do you have recurring daily or weekly meetings in your calendar? Try blocking out the 10 mins prior and using that as regular reflection time.
Try regular breathing meditation, or calming the mind whilst running or walking...any activity that allows you to settle your thoughts into a rhythm.
[Meditation] may not be for everyone. The important thing is to have a set time each day to pull back from the intense pressures of leadership to reflect on what is happening. In addition to meditation, I know leaders who take time for daily journaling, prayer, and reflecting while walking, hiking or jogging - Bill George
Consult widely. Introspective reflection need not mean cutting yourself off from others - it can, in fact, include them in open and constructive discussions.
Consult widely and regularly with your mentors and build these discussions into your development plan.
Work with your team and stakeholders - ask for feedback, talk about what does and doesn't work as a group; the Agile retrospective meeting technique provides a wonderful vehicle for sharing open, collaborative discussions around the things that matter most to your team - use these discussions to tease out leadership impacts and issues.
Michele Ruiz's achingly personal reflection really brings out the value in getting your team involved - it's a wonderful example of checking out with the specific purpose of strengthening the leadership ties that bind. Such beautiful writing..."I've made taking care of myself a priority...slow down to lead".
The overall result is by giving up some control, implementing processes and upgrading technology I actually feel more in control. And I’ve made taking care of myself a key priority. The changes are positioning us well for growth. How fortunate I am to have an exceptional team that taught me a valuable lesson – Slow down to lead - Michele Ruiz
Practice a calm mind. Introspective reflection does not just happen; it requires practice. Have you tried to sit still, block out all thoughts and focus on nothing but your breathing? How long can you last before losing concentration? 10...15...maybe 30 seconds?
Calm, focused introspection takes dedication, discipline and focus. Be prepared to invest in mindfulness practice for the long haul.
Build mindfulness practice into your development plan - take it seriously, treat it with respect and commit to regular practice.
I don't use the word "practice" lightly. In order to gain awareness and clarity about the present moment, you must be able to quiet your mind. That is tremendously difficult and takes a lifetime of practice. In 2012, I had the privilege of presenting my ideas on authentic leadership to his Holiness the Dalai Lama. When I asked him what it took to become an authentic leader, he replied, "You must have practices that you engage in every day." - Bill George
Talk to yourself. Have a daily conversation with yourself. Ask questions, answer back again and see where it takes you. Take care not to avoid any difficult topics - there are no short cuts and in fact, self-reflection is a terrific way to deal with those really curly leadership issues or problems that may be dragging you down. I really like Janna Rust's idea of a daily conversation check list - while you may not want to use Janna's exact questions, the idea of carrying a pocket primer is very refreshing.
Self-reflection is a Life Journey
The key here is that every leader can improve their leadership growth and make more grounded, authentic decisions through introspective reflection. Everyone can. But there is no easy path - it demands courage, persistence and a willingness to work through whatever comes up along the way.
Checking in on yourself does not mean checking out on the team. Quite the opposite - it means making both a concerted effort to improve your leadership ability through grounded, balanced decision making and a personal commitment to your team to involve them in your growth journey.
Reflection is a life journey. Leaders must be prepared to commit themselves for a long term.
Reflection is difficult. Leaders must be prepared to look broadly, consult openly and confront tough issues. Reflection is not passive; it is tough, confronting and hard work.
Reflection is a personal discipline. The way that we reflect does not matter so much as the action of reflecting itself. Find out what works for you, treat it with respect, commit to it and immerse yourself wholeheartedly.
Mary Jo Asmus provides some brilliant, simple and profound techniques to help leaders on the path to self-reflection. Her article is really worth reading at a whole lot of levels but really, I can't go past this..."Begin with a few dedicated minutes before you begin your workday to get organized and set your intentions. Find your own place to claim those minutes, make it yours and use it every day". Perfect.
Begin with a few dedicated minutes before you begin your workday to get organised and set your intentions. Even though there is a temptation to be pulled into the urgent, stay true to five or 10 minutes of uninterrupted time to visualize the flow of your day, prioritize what needs to be done, and decide who you need to communicate with (make a list). Avoid distraction; let others know you can’t be disturbed, turn off your e-mail alerts and close your door, if you have one. - Mary Jo Asmus
Is reflection part of your leadership development regime? Does it help or hinder you? Are you able to balance looking inwards with maintaining engagement and commitment to your team? What lessons can you share from your experiences in different work environments and cultures? Is reflection always encouraged in other workplaces?