One mindset that has supercharged my success
The power of being a Wise Giver
Friends,
I have been totally blown away by the overwhelming response to my recent LinkedIn post announcing my departure from Amazon. (As of right now, it has 4,057 reactions, 674 comments and has been viewed by 120,000+ people. OMG.) Your kind and thoughtful wishes have warmed my heart, and the stories you’ve shared (both in the comments and directly) have energized my soul. It’s these examples of positive impact and changed lives that fuel me every day. They give immense meaning and purpose to all the work and effort!
In launching and scaling the EQ community to 70k people at Amazon, I’ve operated with a fundamental mindset of being a “Giver.” This comes from Adam Grant’s book 𝙂𝙞𝙫𝙚 & 𝙏𝙖𝙠𝙚, which categorizes professionals and leaders into 3 buckets: Givers, Takers, and Matchers.
The surprising truth? Givers are the most successful.
And the least.
Wait, what?
It turns out that generosity is a superpower, but a double-edged one. If you give with intention, you change careers and possibly even lives. (I call this wise or strategic giving.) If you give without healthy boundaries, you burn yourself out.
Here’s what Wise Givers do differently:
1️⃣ They protect their energy: They don’t say “Yes” to everything. They specialize and give where it matters most. They understand their strengths, values, and limitations, and they thoughtfully give of themselves where it can make a difference.
2️⃣ They watch out for Takers: If someone only takes, they shift to “matcher mode.” The mindset: “I’m happy to help when you pay it back or pay it forward.” Most people tend to be Matchers in a professional setting (if you give to them, they will give back), but I’ve met a few Takers in my day and had to shift my approach with them.
3️⃣ They boldly ask for help: The most successful Givers are also the best askers. If you never ask, you rob others of the chance to contribute to something that may be meaningful to them. This is how I was able to get so many senior leaders at Amazon to support the EQ program. It’s also how I got amazing luminaries and authors to be guests on Amazon Talks. I connected with them around a common purpose (to make a positive impact on their team/org/humanity), and I asked nicely.
4️⃣ They create ripple effects: The best networkers don’t just ask for favors for themselves, they ask people to help someone else. That’s how communities of Givers multiply. At Amazon, this approach enabled us to build a community of tens of thousands of Givers.
In our world of mind-bending technological advancements, getting the most important things done still comes down to building human-to-human relationships.
Taking has a tax. Giving compounds interest.
So here’s my invitation to you: Be a Wise Giver by being generous, being strategic, and asking others to help you.
A simple technique that Adam Grant shares is the “5-minute favor.” If you can do someone a favor in 5 minutes (and it doesn’t mess you up in some way), just do it. There are so many ways you can do someone a solid:: make an intro, share a helpful resource (like this newsletter!), or send a Thank You note.
Small acts can make a big difference. You just never know how much impact it will have. I can say with conviction that a primary reason for my outsized impact and success has been the super-compounding growth of these generous acts, done consistently over time.
For more insights, here is an interview with Adam Grant where he dives deeper into the research: https://thinkers50.com/blog/give-take-interview-adam-grant/
What’s a 5-minute favor you can do today? Go do it!
Keep on being EPIC,
Rich
